CRUCIAL Advice You MUST FOLLOW if You WANT SUCCESS! | Oprah Winfrey

this whole idea of quantum physics physics newton's law nature the way the order of things and how life and nature itself operates and i could see a reflection of my own self my own being in all of that and reading newton's law third law of motion which says for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction was like a religious experience for me i just understand me all my bells and whistles and lights and dancing emojis went off because i could see that i'd experienced a little bit of that in the color purple that beautiful line where whoopi as miss sealy says everything you try to do to me is already done to you that struck me in particular in the movie and i understood that everybody's actually saying the same thing newton's saying the same thing is messily is saying the same thing as what we in this country and many other countries call the golden rule that really what you put out is coming back all the time and what really struck me is that it's not do unto others as you would have them to unto you it really is when you do it's already done because that's law how did you turn your pain into purpose well before the pain became a purpose it was just an acknowledgement of what had happened to me and one of the things we talk about in the what happened to you book is that anything that has happened to you and i wanted to just make this point to everybody there's not a black woman in this room who hasn't been through something that helped her build strength and then something else that helped you build strength and then something else that helped you build strength i mean sometimes you go through so much you say god don't teach me nothing else new today i don't need no more strength building but but this is what i know is that strength time strength time strength time strength every time you got stronger you were building power because strength time strength time strength time strength equals powerful so we're sitting in a room amongst ourselves with all of these powerful women who have their stories of what happened to you that you can now turn into post-traumatic wisdom so what i was able to do was to take what had happened to me and to use it as an empathy builder for myself and for other people and it is my empathy and connection that has allowed me to be the woman that i am today and so anything that has happened to you if you are willing to learn from it to open up and no longer allow the stigma and shame to cause you to hide your secrets but to know that your vulnerability is where your real strength lies and take that pain and turn it into something meaningful for yourself and as maya used to say i wouldn't take nothing for my journey now not even the sexual abuse the sexual assault you know when i was raped i didn't even know i didn't even know what a penis was and like so many other people in this room who were also sexually assaulted when they were young i didn't tell anybody because i knew it would be turned on me i knew i was not in a safe environment where other adults would trust my word and so i kept it to myself until i was on literally on an oprah winfrey show somebody shared their story of abuse and i was like i thought i was the only one i thought it was the only person who had been raped and dying and molested until till i was 14. so i think being able to take your pain and turn it into purpose and power begins first with being able to empathize with other people who've been through the same kind of pain and everything that's happened to you has also happened for you if you allow it to be there's not one thing that has happened to you that you cannot now turn into something that is useful and meaningful in the life that you are now leading forward how do you stay on the positive path of you know positive harm not even with in regards to you know i would never do that again but when you have so many negative forces even in your family they can come in how do you stay in a positive place okay with positive karma if there are a lot of negative people in your life don't look at them look at the energy that you are creating to attract them don't look at them look at yourself what are you doing to draw those people because if you are surrounded by negative people there's a part of you that's willing to tolerate that is there not i agree i agree because there were a couple of negative people in my life and i chose to keep them in my life because i didn't want to push them away like you don't push them away because you know because they were friends so you know [Music] it really comes down to i mean who do you want to be in the world who do you want to be not what do you want to do not what do you want to achieve who do you want to be what is the kind of person when they're reading your eulogy what do you want the words to be said about the kind of person you have been in the world do you know the answer to that question do you know the answer to that question i'm asking that of of of everybody do you know what that is because in the end you know i was just at uh one of my um dear harpo uh employees been here for 20 years her husband died suddenly of a of a brain aneurysm it was the most beautiful ceremony i left that ceremony wanting to be a better human being because the words that were said about him as a human being as a father as an uncle as a friend the words that people spoke about him were so loving and impassioned that i thought gee when i die i don't want people to talk about the number of shows i did you want people to talk about how your love affected them the love that you put out into the world yeah affected them so if that is the paradigm that you're living from how can i serve and be the most loving gracious giving person whatever my talent is to all the all the girls that you're counseling how do i do that with love ultimately i'm telling you the negative energy will change and when you become that force for yourself you won't allow it i don't care what their title or role is in your life you just really won't sometimes you have to divorce your friends and divorce your family members and if you handle them with love in doing it they they will come back you will have an opportunity to reconcile i speak from what i know but i've had family members who for whom i've said i will not allow you to treat me this way i will not allow you to treat me this way and for one family member it took him three years to get when you get some sense call me and let me know that your senses has returned and what can you do when you've done all you can you just stand it's one of my favorite gospel songs always gives me goosebump fortification when i hear it especially when donnie mclurkin sings prayed and cried prayed and cried after you've done all you can you just stand well i read a story today about a 65 year old ukrainian woman who used to pride herself on her beautiful embroidery work and now is sowing bulletproof vests for soldiers and grateful to