Finding Meaning in the Life Journey – Simon Sinek

[Music] we are who we are like I said we're fully formed by the experiences we have when we're young you know at a pretty young age and now the opportunity life presents us is to make decisions that either Keeps Us in balance with who we really are or not and I think one of the reasons most of us feel discomfort or don't feel ourselves or don't know who we are is because we're making decisions that are inconsistent with that true cause with that why right we look for ways to distance ourselves from the impact of our decisions we say things like it's what you got to do to get ahead it's what my boss wants um everyone's doing it it's the system I don't have a choice right and there are ways we can disassociate our responsibility so you raise the case of individual athletes who become Champions and then suffer depression it's a fairly common story you hear this from Olympians you know Michael Phelps becomes the most medled Olympian of all time immediately suffers depression Andre Agassi becomes the most storied you know tennis player of all time time immediately becomes depressed and what I've learned from talking to some of these these particularly athletes but I think it happens in the business world as well which is from a very young age they set themselves a goal that in my words would be a very selfish goal I want to be the best at X the best tennis player the best golfer the best whatever and you know the way Olympians put it which I get a kick out of is I want to win the Olympics like well no one wins the Olympics you can be a winner in your sport and and their entire lives from pretty young Ages Every decision they're making is to help them Advance this finite goal and all of their relationships are can you help me achieve my goal and if you can no longer help me achieve my goal I don't need you anymore as a coach or even a friend and there's huge sacrifices missing of birthdays missing of Christmases you know missing of major life events because I have to practice so I can achieve my goal and when they get interviewed on the news you know at the Olympics or or whatever you know why do you do it they'll say well I'm doing it to inspire the little kids which is complete you know if you look at all of their U vision boards from when they were younger pictures of podiums and medals and money and Lamborghinis not a single little child on there of the people you're doing it for it's it's just a Lucky Strike extra I mean absolutely you do Inspire children but that's not the reason you did it you just got that you know like I said it's sort of a it's a twofer and and then when they achieve or don't achieve this thing and then can no longer compete for it they've set their entire path in order their relationships on this one these finite selfish goals and so when it's complete they realize they don't really have a lot of friends around them they don't really have a lot of close relationships they don't really even have a sense of purpose because they've been spent the past 20 years or so with one purpose which was this finite goal which now has run out and so they're very purposeless and I see this in Broadway performers who set their whole life to be on the west end or be on Broadway every class every tap dancing class every singing class they make it they get there and then depression or at least Mala or senior executive same thing if I just if I just make a million dollars you know if I just become a millionaire then I'll feel and the problem with all of those things is as I said before they are selfish uh it is your goal for your reasons which is not fulfilling for any Social Animal for any human being you know our sense of joy and fulfillment and love and purpose comes from our ability to serve another human being have a child tell me how your life changes fall in love tell me how your life changes you know think about all the stupid things irrational things we've done for love we get on planes and travel around the world just to say I love you you know we do ridiculous things and it all feels worth it and the sacrifices we make for a child all feel worth it but these are no longer for us and these things will live on beyond our own lives they are not finite they are infinite and there's nothing wrong with Personal Achievement there's nothing wrong with setting goals but it has to be in the context of something even bigger and to see one's life as a Continuum rather than than a than an event is much healthier I'm not a huge fan of the the term self-improvement but I do like the idea of awareness self-awareness you know we all live with blind spots we all live with missing gaps and pieces of information which will by the way last for the rest of our lives and there are some people who choose to live a life where living with those gaps is acceptable and they never fill them in and we would say that they remain stagnant and arguably either me or physically unhealthy you know getting unhealthier as they get older you know for someone for anyone who who wants to be a better version of themselves a more aware version of themselves you we I seek out information and that comes in all kinds of forms right it can be in a relationship um so for example I went and took a listening class I was dating someone and she accused me of being a bad listener and I was like you do know what I do for a living right like I'm a really good listener so I don't know what you're talking about you know and then I took this listening class turns out I'm an absolutely brilliant listener with people who I'll never see again for the rest of my life but amongst my friends and family appalling so I had this basic skill set that I never applied with the people closest to me and gave myself an out because quote unquote I knew how to listen and so I realized I was a terrible listener this was a blind spot this was a gap and having somebody love me tell me that didn't work didn't believe them until you know this objective Outsider or at least I just took this class and came to this realization that was brilliant that awareness of the blind spot and the awareness of the skills that I need to be a better brother son boyfriend friend you know I had to learn how to hold space for someone and then practice um that's awareness and I think our health is awareness unfortunately some people wait for the breakup to learn that they're bad listeners some people wait for the heart attack to realize they're eating poorly that's awareness you get awareness by getting a punch in the face I think it's a responsibility for every human being should they want to have value in the lives of others to seek awareness in how they show up in the world and and how the world impacts them their mental health their physical health their ability to maintain relationships and nurse relationships for those who want to show up better in the lives of others which is I see being healthy as a service to others but I think we've neglected 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