WATCH THIS EVERY DAY – Motivational Speech By Mel Robbins [YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS]

my mind can be my worst enemy i was laying in bed last night and i had fallen asleep and i kept waking up and you know what i was thinking about i was waking up because i could hear people in the hallway kind of coming in from a late night of parting and you know what the first thing that my mind defaulted to there being a fire in the hotel and i started having these visions of my daughter and i going down the stairwell and getting trapped and then i had visions of us being on the balcony uh on this room and fire kind of engulfing and what are we doing are we tying a rope wish i mean it's just insanity absolute insanity and i use the techniques that i teach you i went 54321 i am not thinking about this and the thought disappeared because i constantly reset my mindset and you know one of the reasons why i'm telling you this is if you are tired of feeling negative if you feel often that your own thoughts are the things that trip you up in life that you wish that your mind were more positive i'm telling you that i'm the same way just because i teach this stuff just because i study this just because i do what i do for a living doesn't make me immune to what it means to be human and what it means to be human is that your brain and your body want you to survive your brain and your body remember situations that scare the daylights out of you your brain and your body try to talk you out of anything that makes you feel risky and your brain given that it has been trained by situations in the past and given that you allow it to worry all the time you have a habit of doing it if you're not careful and you're not deliberate your brain will default to scary crap like mine was last night that doesn't mean you're broken it means that your brain is thinking something that's broken and it's time for you to reset your mindset and pull it back if you're somebody that suffers from anxiety first of all here's what you need to know it's not a disease period it's not a disease so here's what you need to understand anxiety always begins with a worry always it begins with a thought that is triggered by something so if you suffer from anxiety you wake up in the morning and your mind spins you lay in bed at night and your mind spins you walk into work and you feel anxious in your body i want you to write down all the things that trigger you to feel anxious interestingly another major trigger is being home or going home and that moment right before your partner walks in the door if you feel anxious when your partner's about to walk in or you're about to walk into your own home that is a major signal that you're in the wrong relationship that there is something incredibly off and you either need to get into counseling but that is one that we hear a lot about because you're walking into a situation that feels uncertain yeah a lot of people by the way had parents that were abusive or parents that were yellers so they also are experiencing ghosts from the childhood of it's five o'clock dad's about to come home and pour a drink and everybody's on edge yeah so write down the triggers okay because having kind of the triggers ahead of time will help you come up with a plan for how you're going to catch yourself when your mind defaults to the automatic ways that it thinks then what i want you to write down next to the trigger is what exactly are you worried about so having the trigger and then the what do i worry about i worry that my boss is going to yell i worry that my partner's going to yell i worry that i'm going to get in trouble i worry that you know my friends are going to laugh at me i worry that i'm going to be a whatever it may be then what you're going to do is you're going to write down what i call an anchor thought an anchor thought is something that weighs you down and it makes you excited and so here's how the strategy works with the five second rule the next time you're in a situation and let's just use the example of pulling into your own driveway or your own apartment and maybe you've got issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend or your roommate and that makes you unsettled you're the second you pull in and you feel the trigger you're gonna go five four three two one because i want to interrupt your mind from going into kind of like what if and then you're gonna drop in the anchor thought of the last time that you and your roommate really got along well or the last time that you stood up for yourself and it went fine for your puppy yeah or a puppy or whatever you're gonna say i'm so excited to deal with this yeah and then you're going to get out of your car even though your body is going to feel a little unsettled and your mind's going to race go five four three two one if you start to like be like ah but what is that and then walk in the door and what i'm teaching you to do is to not let your mind hijack you and it's very important because there's a very tight nexus between your habit of worrying and spiraling your thoughts and the way your body starts to amp up and so we want to settle your mind so we don't agitate your body you got it yeah and so if you start to practice that over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and for you 18 year olds that are watching this use this with the nerves that you have about what you're going to do with your life use this when you catch yourself worrying about college applications because worrying about the applications won't get them done worrying about what your friends are doing won't make it happen worrying about what you're going to be doing when you're 25 or how you're going to make money it's not going to help you make money right now it's only going to make you miserable so 54321 cut off that habit that'll stabilize your body and then go to a vision of you at the age of 25 driving a car that you think is cool and hanging out with a friend that's cool and saying yourself i'm so excited because i know i'm gonna figure it out because you don't need to worry about that right now but it becomes a habit that destroys your year this year just because you identify and for me as a kid for whatever reason i have my own version of feeling invisible and feeling like i'm not good enough and so my way of coping both with my anxiety and being a survivor of sexual abuse and wanting love which we all need is i was like an overachiever and so i'm the kind of person that's super busy and a go-getter because it got me attention and if i was the one that was super busy and achieving i not only got praise but it also insulates you from other people not picking you because you're the one in a leadership role doing the picking and so there's a part of me at the age of 51 that is realizing that you know this these feelings of feeling unworthy and this hyper drive to try to achieve it's all coming from a place of feeling inadequate or like what i'm doing is not enough and so that's 50 having the talk show having a best-selling book having the au