Navigating Family and Work Dynamics with Presence | Eckhart Tolle’s Solution

comfort zone is not conducive to any kind of [Music] deepening through resistance you you suffer or your presence deepens because it has to many of these things are regarded as negative but they're actually exactly what you need my question is how how does one remain centered in Stillness when we might be surrounded by and asked to engage uh mentally and emotionally with others who are not I assume that this situation happens to you quite often because course you're asking the [Music] question and of course it's a very common thing for people to find themselves in such situations uh let's assume then it's uh these are uh human beings that you you cannot easily or you don't want to to uh separate yourself from like could be family members or it could be people you work with those two situations are situations where you feel you you want to continue to interact with these people or you have to interact with these people but it's getting difficult because you can there is to toxicity or there's a lot of unconsciousness egos figh against other Egos and so on um let's just for a moment put aside the more extreme manifestation ations of such situations there are situations um whether it's family members or at work there there are some extreme situation that are so destructive and toxic uh that you the only um healthy and sane CA of action would be to remove yourself so if it's an extreme situation let's say you're in a relationship the relationship is sometimes VI there's physical violence or there's repeated emotional violence that such an extreme situation or you are at work and the company that you work for is the environment the energy is so toxic and negative that just going in into that office you feel the weight of it and the pull of that negativity in this it's full of ego battling each other so in certain extreme situations I would recommend to REM that you remove yourself from this the way because I mentioned that at first because I want to put that aside we need to know extreme situations involving emotional violence physical violence whatever it may be uh it would you have to take responsibility and remove yourself from that situation but many situations in assume in your case perhaps it it's not that extreme so what remains is normal human unconsciousness not the extreme forms of unconsciousness so to deal with normal human unconsciousness again uh Beware when you are interacting with people uh realize that you may not always succeed in doing this but the most important thing your see if you can bring about a shift in um the way in which you approach the situation and these people uh the most important thing in such situations is your state of consciousness rather than whatever it is that they are talking about they may be talking about this or that whether it's at work or they may be gossiping or maybe whatever they're engaged in emotional ego stuff uh use it as an opportunity to stay present and uh it's not easy and you can only uh you need to intensify your presence when you are with unconscious people by that I mean when you are sitting alone in a room or you're walking out in nature it's being present is not that difficult you can it's especially nature is conducive to to presence uh or being alone in a room if you discover that you actually like sitting alone in a room that's a great thing because that means you you become comfortable with yourself uh there are still the majority of humans still become very uncomfortable with sitting alone in a room and you may discover that you actually like being alone not continuously you still love people but you also love being alone alone because when you're alone you can sense the the presence that you are the very simple but powerful presence of and youve sense there's a Stillness there it's lovely and then of course then you leave your room and then you meet other people you lose yourself you because the the there's a gra gravitational pull that the mind has and so and people know that they so other people Minds will try to draw you in uh I don't is it may I ask you before I carry on is it predominantly is it more a family situation in your case or is it a a work situation or uh which one is it predominantly um I would say thank you for asking um it is both and um both family and work occasionally uh are our issues or not issues but present themselves as as a challenge um what is an ongoing daily challenge is the unconsciousness of the city I'm surrounded in so you know by Wednesday uh that starts to Peak and and becomes much more difficult for me to stay out of my head becomes very noisy oh you can sense the you can sense the energy field of the city yes ah right yes yes Sunday is very pleasant Wednesday Thursday Friday or not right right so but it's it's really you know that plus the more intense situations of work and family which occasionally come in yes yes I need to ask one more question do you find yourself drawn into how when other people are ego uh controlled do you find yourself that emotionally mentally you be you you become just like them or do you feel you're a little bit of an outsider now that's observing what's going on what are you a full participant temporar really in the unconscious interactions that are taking place the drama whatever it may be are you a full participant or are you a reluct sometimes a reluctant participant or you remain there as an almost an outsider observing what's going on how is it for you I it oscillates um most of the time I am an outsider uh who enjoys engaging um I I suspect that my sensitivity to to presence and Stillness is becoming is increasing or the sensitivity to that lack of in myself is increasing um does that answer your question yes yes that's thank you that's good yeah yeah um let's talk a moment about this the energy field of the city before we go into your personal the um I don't know if you whether you meditate or not whether you do some formal meditation and often uh you say yes the often people and people meditate and um then some something disturbing things happen while they meditate suddenly this disturbing noise this morning I was sitting I was sitting in in uh my living room and uh it's Wednesday so they do the gardening on Wednesday with extremely noisy leaf blowers this is the time of year where leaf blowers and so the the noise came and I was just so it was so peaceful as I was sitting there and um suddenly there was this and often I immediately knew how to completely transcend it because I've been it's second nature to me now but often I have to tell people how to deal deal with disturbing things like that especially when they're trying to meditate and then that happens I always say incorporate whatever arises during this time when you're trying to meditate everything that arises make it part of your meditation in other words resist nothing that arises don't demand that anything that arises should not arise in that case even a disturbing noise