For People Who FEEL LOST In Life Watch This To Find Your PURPOSE | MotivationArk

so when I first started having conversations with families from you know different walks of life that's when I came to understand that there is a common bond that we all share that we're all really seeking the same things and knowing that that thing was happiness came from the show and every day I would sit and talk with the audience for a half hour sometimes 40 minutes a producer would be like oh my god when is she going to let go of the audience what I really want is to have a conversation with the audience to see why did you come and what did you get from the show and did you benefit at all and why do you watch all of that so 10 years in the audience became my focus group I would always ask people what do you want what would it take to make you happy and most people when I say what what do you want they just say I just want to be happy tell me what that looks like and as the years progressed women were more able to identify what that specifically was but when I first started asking that question in the mid90s they would always just say well I just want to be happy I just want to be happy well what does that look like Define it Define happy Define it and and what I realize is that most people have never defined it and then they say well I want my kids to be happy well that's your kids but what do you want and so being able to answer specifically what that looks like for you is the beginning of being happier I know this that many of the things that have happened to you have also happened for you and that I learned when the crisis or the challenge showed up for me I immediately would ask sometimes out loud but certainly in my own conscious Spirit what is this here to teach me and how can I get that lesson as soon as possible and this I guarantee you the moment you have the conscious realization of oh this is why this is here showing up to allow me to see whatever that is in your life it changes for you unhappiness is not the enemy know it is not the enemy the unhappiness and if actually one of the things it's so powerful I think about uh what Arthur has written specifically is about how your emotions are there to allow you to feel the feel and then take the wheel of this feeling that I'm having I'm having this feeling and now I need to do what and not to allow yourself to be overcome by the feeling so you have a feeling of anger or you have have a feeling of sadness you have a feeling of disappointment doesn't mean you are those things you are those emotions so now what am I going to do now that I'm feeling disappointed about certain things you say happiness is not a destination happiness is Direction I know that was a shift in mindset for many who are reading this book can you expand a little bit on that yeah and you know this is the the problem with happiness is such a funny thing because we all want it every philosopher and theologian has talked about it everybody I mean how how how many times have people said that on your show I know that's what I say in the beginning of the book that thousands of times I became interested in the subject because every time I would sit with the audience and I'd say what do you want everybody would always say multiple people would answer I just want to be happy I just want to be happy but yet when you ask them what does that look like for them hard to Define for sure and part of the reason is because it's not something that you can Define in any meaningful way we think it's a Feeling we think it's a destination it isn't either it you know happy feelings are nothing more than emotions and emotions are nothing more than information that we need in reaction to the outside environment and and as a destination what would you why would you want to be completely happy as a destination you'd be dead in a week because you actually need negative emotions and experiences to train you to keep you Vigilant to keep you safe and to be happy yeah to keep you alert to keep you to keep you on it yeah yeah yeah I mean maybe when I die and I'm in heaven I see the face of God the beatific Vision will be pure happiness but on Earth I'm telling you I need my negative emotions to keep me alive and safe I need my negative experiences to learn and grow and so that's what people they they want to stay alive and safe but they don't want the feelings that keep them alive and safe and that's this conflict that they have which is why they feel so unsettled okay so I think particularly in this world of social media people think if I just get that I mean I I I see people toasting on private jets and I see them you know on beaches and you know hair their hair blowing in the wind and all that and people think well if I just had that I I could be happy but we know you have the science to back it up that they're really four pillars and if you don't have all of those P pillars working in your life you will eventually end up feeling not necessarily sad but lonely or distanced or dis connected that's right so the four pillars are yeah the four pillars there's there's kind of the four pillars you think that you need and there's four pillars that you really do need the idols the things that look right but aren't are money power pleasure and fame those are the things that mother nature says you get those you're going to be happy money power pleasure and fame that's right but she lies Mother Nature lies she lies a lot because she wants us to keep running running running running running right because but is Mother Mother Nature telling us that or is society telling us that I think Mother Nature is telling us that that it's the four pillars well Mother Nature gives us these imperatives because she wants us wants us to be hungry you know and and she wants us to survive and pass on our genes yes and the way that you do that is with money power pleasure and fame right and she doesn't want us to figure out that those things never really satisfy so that we'll keep running and running and running that's called the hedonic treadmill what we really want and this is backed up by by by a lot of psychology Neuroscience behavioral economics all the research that we want is that there's kind of four things that are The Virtuous things that we should be looking for that mother nature doesn't necessarily tell us but that if we take the Divine path in life religious or not religiously understood a better path in life we'll be happy and those are faith family friends and work that serves now if you give any teenage kid the choice between money power pleasure and honor or faith faith family good friends and good times and a work that serves others I mean what are they going to take right I mean our society does Aid in a bet Mother Nature's lie yeah because you know the the marketing Colossus tells us that if you get that car man you're going to be really happy if you get that job you get that money if you get that 100,000 Instagram followers or whatever your number happens to be it's never High