Being More Present in Our Relationships: Compilation Video | Eckhart Tolle

because that's the Western mind especially tells you you can do something to remedy the situation they must be able to do something but there comes a point when further doing is not possible and sometimes it inflicts more pain because it wants to do something because it doesn't know anything else another question are you to be very angry and resentful towards my parents awareness of their unconsciousness removed these feelings yet in their presence I turned to a bitter person am I in denial uh this question beautifully illustrates the [Music] two Dimensions one could say to acceptance or perhaps the two steps to acceptance the first step is an understanding you understand that your parents do what they do did what they did because of their unconsciousness so you can understand how unconsciousness control control people's thinking and behavior so you've understood that and that's good and because you understood that you no longer feel angry and resentful towards your parents it removed those feelings except when you visit them and that brings us to step two it's very good to understand and then become to some extent free but that's not complete Freedom yet there also need needs to be the presence in you and it's only that that provides the deeper dimension of acceptance so and when you are not with them it's enough to understand them but the moment you you stay with them all the the past comes back people with whom you share a lot of past it's all very very easy to be drawn back into past reactions and it's only by being absolutely alert and present that you can then become free even while you're with them so understanding often operates when you're not immediately challenged by this whatever situation it was that C this you the upset first you understand that it's unconsciousness in them but when you're actually confronted with them or any other situation then it's vital that you realize understanding is helpful but not quite enough yet there needs Al also needs to be the presence the alert presence while you are with them and especially there you need to be that's the challenge and that's your spiritual practice to become especially Alert in that situation and my second question is from my husband who's not here tonight and he was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and his question to you is how can he heal this well let's start with the second one okay there's something more important whether or not it can be healed I don't know there is something more important than the healing of that physical condition or any physical condition and that which is more important than the healing which I'm going to just briefly talk about now is also that that that which in some cases brings about the healing but that's not the main thing that which is more important than the healing is to to use the condition in this case it's a deterioration of the physical form which comes slowly over years as far as I understand to use that to push you into intense presence practice that's all you can do so allow it to push you into that which changes the entire vibrational frequency of the physical body when you when you truly live in presence which is affects every cell of the body the entire frequency of the physical form changes if you do intense body awareness you can feel that for yourself it's very it's it's an enormously enlivening energy field uh and that also that practice also burns up the EGO so the opportunity there is you have an enormous motivation to embrace the State of Consciousness that we call presence that's the most vital thing and that may bring about healing or if it does not bring about healing it may delay considerably the onset or the process of deterioration that comes with that disease uh I mention in the power of in the new Earth uh that when I was a graduate student every day in the cafeteria I would observe the physicist Steven Hawkins who was eating lunch there every day while being fed lunch he had a similar uh condition it wasn't called Park it's not called Park it's a mo in England they call it a motor neuron disease or do they call it that here but anyway that's his condition at that time he wasn't world famous he was just well known in the university and he everybody said and it was common knowledge that he had been given I think it was three or four years maximum 5 years to live and that was when 30 years ago or more so this he had this deterior every all the doctor said just a few more years that's all you have 30 years later he's still alive yes he's incapacitated but his mind is not and he has come as I mentioned in the new Earth uh he may not be I don't believe he is spiritually awake but he has entered a state of considerable surrender to his condition there's nothing in him that is feels has created negativity as a reaction to his physical condition and that's very rare my sister your sister my yes she was very um had cancer um breast cancer a really bad kind and she got um complications and infections and with the chemo and she was wonderful and happy and not showing and I saw her suffering so much yes and um sometimes she couldn't talk it was so painful what she was going through and what they were doing to her trying to save her life a couple times yes I wanted to run away I wouldn't cuz I hadn't be there for her but I was reading you your books and trying to be present I know that I couldn't change the situation I could be there for her that's the only way I could help her but I couldn't take a pain away and the Fright she was frightened I couldn't take her fear away and I wanted to so I wanted to run or think about the future so I did not want to stay present yes thank you it it's hard to stay present yes yes sometimes acceptance means acceptance of the unacceptable and this is an example where what is happening seems seem to be impossible to accept but it is happening and of course there are millions in in the world who go through similar pain doesn't make it any easier but it is a fact and many others go through other kinds of extreme suffering people who go through it and people who are around them who want to help like yourself you want to take away their suffering you don't want them to suffer and you can't help so the important the only way is really to find a place within you where you touch something that is deeper than anything that has formed the very life within you you if you can close your eyes and and find that not necessarily now but in in a painful situation to sense to go deep enough so that you sense the life that you are because the life that you are Beyond form the very Consciousness that you are that pervades the entire body and goes far beyond is also the life that she is so if you sit the same applies to a dying person it's another thing that sometimes can be very painful especially if death seems to come too soon even if it's an old person who is dying it's can be painful but if it's a younger person who one would